Author Archives: A Boy Less Ordinary

My son, JJ, is twelve years old, has an autism diagnosis and fits the PDA profile of autism.   He is fat.   As I type the word ‘fat’, I can almost *feel* my readers flinching, narrowing their eyes in sheer discomfort. Because that word was used for years (and still is largely) as a BAD word.  Continue reading “F A T”

Ok, who’s had a rough few days (or months/years for that matter) and needs a pep talk? If you feel like you just want to scream, or you’re just so frustrated and lost, or you feel guilty for being a crap parent, then please read on. Firstly, let’s all remember, you’re in a situation whereContinue reading “Ok, who needs a pep talk?”

I spend a lot of my life in a safe, protected bubble with JJ. No ‘proper’ job for me, no school for him. We come and go as we please. When we see people, it’s people we know and love – and people who GET us. That’s why, when I overheard a conversation today, IContinue reading “Fear of the unknown”

Have you ever found yourself making excuses for your PDAer’s behaviour to other people? I’m talking about the sometimes unconscious choices we as parent carers make to explain away or ‘cover-up’ behaviours that society deem unacceptable, which make people who don’t *get-us* feel shocked, uncomfortable and may bring about judgement. I’m guessing the answer fromContinue reading “Making excuses”

A friend and I have been talking a lot recently about the ‘invisibility’ of PDA. Actually, as I write that, I think that’s the wrong term. PDA is not invisible to friends and family of PDAers at all, it radiates, permeates and the anxiety of demand avoidance is often at the core of the PDAContinue reading “You are an activist”

  I’ve written in the past about the thorny issue of whether or not attending a school can *ever* be right for a PDAer. In my current opinion – based on JJ’s history, his age, his complex profile of autism and also based upon my reading and experiences of connecting with other parents of youngContinue reading “Where does he go from here?”

Yesterday I went on a team awayday-type thing, the first one in many years, as part of my volunteering role at my local sendiass. I was hesitant, and made this face when I heard that the morning was devoted to the concept of ‘resilience’, in both children and adults. I mean, I’m not really evenContinue reading “Resilience”

I’ve really missed writing here, and I hope all you lovely people are well and surviving whatever life has been throwing at you recently. Sometimes survival is as good as it gets. I’d like to say I’ve not been blogging as we’ve been away on a long, exotic holiday – but that would be aContinue reading “Countdown to the school car park”

Image credit: http://www.sallycatpda.co.uk I’m always trying to ‘climb inside’ JJ’s mind to try and better understand what he’s thinking, feeling, experiencing. It’s not easy but I try my best. Yesterday he had a moment where I could see so clearly the paralysis of not just PDA, but also other things that were at play. IContinue reading “The complexities of avoidance”

There’s a mother I know and it’s her birthday today. Except she’s not celebrating at all. And she’s ok with that. This woman is the parent of a PDAer, and her son is in full burnout. Total, devastating, painful, excruciating burnout. He’s struggling with so much that she can’t identify the triggers anymore. Because heContinue reading “There’s a mother I know”